I remember days when I didn’t want to get out of bed because I felt so ashamed of who I had become. I was too afraid to call on God because although I kept asking God for forgiveness of my sins, I continued to commit them. I wanted to be loved, feel appreciated and I wanted to fit in. So I did things that were not of God so I could look like the rest of the world.
I started drinking, going to parties, cursing and having sex. But the conviction that I would feel afterwards, was hard to hide from.
The more I would do these worldly things the more I became depressed, because the buzz from alcohol only camouflaged my pain temporarily , and the pleasure from sex only lasted a couple seconds.
It wasn’t until I became so depressed that one day while on the phone with my mother I broke down in tears and told her that I didn’t want to live anymore.
Its crazy to think about now because even at the time I felt my worst in life…I look back and realize how blessed I was. Even though I was living in sin God gave me conviction that told me that I served a greater purpose.
That day my mother told me to stop, and lay all my problems at God’s feet. She told me that God did not care about my past. She told me that despite everything that I had ever done that he loved me. And that through the blood of Jesus all of my sins could be washed away.
I share this story because I want others to know that God does not care about your past!! He just wants you to come to him, he presents himself with open arms, ready to wash away your sins. He wants you to prosper and live a life without pain, hurt and confusion. He wants to give you peace, joy and wisdom.
I can honestly say that through God I’m a different person. I became alive the day that I gave my life to Christ. I felt a joy and a peace that can never be taken away. I write blogs and try to live a life that is pleasing to God not only because I LOVE him but because I want others to see Christ through me so that they too can find that same joy. 🙂
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!