I remember one Thursday night, my sophomore year of college , fixing my hair in the mirror and applying lipstick with the other hand. I looked at myself and could not even recognize who I was. The concealer couldn’t conceal my guilt and shame. The more I felt empty and depressed inside the more I went out with my friends to parties or “kick backs”. I used alcohol to numb my feelings only to be left with more guilt when I recovered.
The more I did things that were not of God, the more I ran away from him because of guilt. Sometimes we run away from God when we need him the most. We think we can fix our problems on our own but only end up down a deep and dark path. We cant do it on our own, our first step is to ask God for help.
The world wants you to be like everyone else, so if your friends are doing it and its fun then enjoy life, live it up, turn up, you only live once right (YOLO) ? So you end up conforming to the world and doing things you never thought you would be doing. Only to realize that its not worth it. Now you are in bondage. You have to fit in with your friends, you want to do whats right but its not “cool”.
I’ve gone through the same thing, and its amazing the kind of freedom you began to experience when you give your life to God. When you start to know God and read his word and develop a relationship with him, is when you really began to live.
You no longer are worried about fitting in with everyone else but the only person you want to please is God. You rest in his promises and feel a joy that’s unexplainable. You have no worries with God, because you know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him.
God loves you, I love you, Have a blessed day